The Sunny Grass is Lava, My Friend

Tianna and I sat at the park and did the wordle, which we decided was too hard. It was mid-October and much too hot out. We got situated in a corner of grass near the path wrapping around the Hollyhock house. Everyone else was in the shade too, which meant we all sat close together— the European couple with a giggly baby, the surprise birthday party, the big group of friends, the little group of friends, the girl in PJs who stayed near her mother. I thought just how silly people were. A month or two ago it was just as hot (if not hotter) and people would come to this park to sunbathe, skin tilted up. Collectively, we decided that it should be fall and therefore on this day the grass exposed to sun (most of the park) may as well have been off limits, for no one dared to sit in it.

After the park Tianna and I walked north up New Hampshire Ave. Chasing the shade, once again. Our energy was low, we were hungry, overheated, and her stomach hurt. A car drove by with the windows down and as we both looked to our right—the natural human instinct—we saw two teenage girls cackling as they grabbed each other’s hands in a very Hannah Montana high five. Tianna and I turned to each other, knowing we’d both love that moment. I said, “Well, that was awesome. I hope they felt so cool in that moment.” Tianna said “Actually, I hope that in that moment they weren’t thinking at all about what they looked like.” She was obviously right.

~

Today at 4:30pm I dreamt of sleepy sex with an anonymous lover. My face rested on the inside of their thigh, yet the sensation I felt was inside of me. As I fell asleep in my dream, I awoke to an orgasm and thought how my bed had never felt so comfortable. That was my only euphoric moment this Sunday as I drank too much last night. Perhaps I shouldn’t share all this on the internet but I don’t think many people will find themselves here anyways. It’s like going out into an entire city and thinking you’ll run into just one person. Most of the time you won’t. 

This week I also dreamt I was in Europe with Meredith and we were robbed on the street. I remember thinking I had no cash on me, and then Meredith was no longer with me. I thought I could look at her location, but then I thought how if she, or her phone, had been taken that it wouldn’t matter. I found myself in a dark cafe as if the robber had shut down the city and put the community into hiding. Someone who worked there eventually came out of the kitchen and as soon as she appeared with water for me, the coffee shop was filled with people again. The lights were still dim though and the curtains were drawn. Maybe no one knew of the robber and the sun was just too hot.

That night I also dreamt that the book of Sudoku puzzles I had as a kid fit perfectly into my purse. I’ll have to try it out, but I might need to buy a new Sudoku book first. 

With my eyes open, I stared too long at the blue sky outside my window. Whenever I do this I see little white bugs swarming around. At first I thought they were eye floaters, but it only happens when I look at the sky, so I wonder if they are actually living things. They remind me of tiny dents in aluminum, making the reflection of the surface around them all wonky. I should tell my eye doctor, whenever I find one.