A Poem About Trail Mix

Published here.

Give yourself more than two tablespoons

Oh, but I am scared

Now don’t measure it.

Okay, but I know what two tablespoons looks like

Now I eat it by the handfuls. 

Now I CAN eat it by the handfuls because 

It was more than a rule I gave myself 

It was a physical rejection 

A physical incapability 

And repulsion

Because the anxiety built up greater than any mentality 

Making me dizzy 

Wobbly

Nauseous 

Don’t subject yourself to the fear 

Do not, under any circumstances, let the sweet salty tangy crunchy mix  

Pour uncontrollably into a bowl that you will then place your hands around

Do not

do it. 

But eventually I did,

Eventually I forgot what two tablespoons looked like

And all I knew was that the sweet salty tangy crunchy mix

didn’t make my head spin and my ribs turn to rubber.